Moving forward

You meet a guy, you fall in love and you get married. And you live happily ever after. Right? Well, yes, but the happily ever after can be a journey and journeys have their ups and down.

No matter how much in love you are, you have to remember these two people came together but before there was a husband and wife, they lived completely different lives. And they have different personalities, no matter how much they have in common.

Jeff and I lived together for nearly two years before we got married. He saw the good and the bad and so did I. I let his leaving his black socks in the middle of the living room by and he's accepted my chewing my toothbrush to death as I walk around the house. But there's still so much to find out about each other as we move forward and forge a life together.

I'm a horrible bill payer. I got behind a little and now I'm working my butt off with OT and trying to find a part time job so we I can pay everything off. And Jeff is trying to pick up extra shifts so he can do the same, although he's much more organized than I am.

We want a house, with more than one bedroom. We want a family that included a baby and Cella. Isn't this what everyone wants? To me it seems like everyone else has this but us.

I realize part of it is that I'm not getting any younger and I can hear that proverbial clock ticking in my ears. It's deafening. And every time I see a baby or hear of someone else pregnant it sends me into a variety of emotions. And even being around kids makes sends my mind and heart reeling. Will I ever have this? What will it do to my life? Our life? Sigh....

My head and my heart both feel very busy lately. Work has been crazy and all this talk of bills, houses and babies has been on edge at times. But I have to believe we will get ahead and we will find what God has in his plan for us.